6.8 Postcolonial Outsider (interview)
Description
Mr A.’s grandparents on his mother’s side had African fathers. Mr A.’s mother died shortly after the war of independence broke out, and his uncle became his guardian. This uncle worked for a Dutch forestry company in Balikpapan until 1949, and that was where Mr A. went to school. He was in a class with Javanese children whose parents worked for the Anglo-Dutch oil company Royal Dutch Shell. His classmates wanted to know what ‘side’ Mr A., who was not much interested in politics, stood on. This meant that the war of independence crept into the classroom even though Balikpapan was not the scene of any fighting at that point. After the handover of sovereignty, the whole family was ‘repatriated’ to the Netherlands. Mr A. and his family settled in Het Gooi where once again he was confronted with his background as a Belanda Hitam or ‘black Dutchman’. Mr A. went on to become a teacher.
Anonymized interview with Mr A. SMGI 1140.1 (9), 1997.
Transcription
I: “Did you see anything of the police actions?”
A: “We were in Balikpapan when it got nasty. We noticed it a lot with the Indonesian boys at our school. They were basically already nationalists. Then you get them asking me again and again, ‘What are you actually? You’re a black Dutch boy, you don’t belong anywhere.’ That’s what those young men, those communist youths said. They were very bright lads, you know, at our school, Javanese boys. It was a repetition of what I went through years ago.
And I didn’t like it actually, because it made me confused again. Because I couldn’t discuss it with anyone. I wasn’t the kind of person to talk easily to others about what I was going through. That wasn’t normal back then. I found it very difficult. Then I came to the Netherlands and I got to hear the same story all over again. That ‘Weird, you people coming here’ response.”
I: “You never really belonged?”
A: “Exactly. I had that feeling for a very long time. I still have it now. But now I think: let them talk. Whatever. I just go my own way. I’ve already proved myself.”
Anonymized interview with Mr A. SMGI 1140.1 (9), 1997.
Transcription
I: “Did you see anything of the police actions?”
A: “We were in Balikpapan when it got nasty. We noticed it a lot with the Indonesian boys at our school. They were basically already nationalists. Then you get them asking me again and again, ‘What are you actually? You’re a black Dutch boy, you don’t belong anywhere.’ That’s what those young men, those communist youths said. They were very bright lads, you know, at our school, Javanese boys. It was a repetition of what I went through years ago.
And I didn’t like it actually, because it made me confused again. Because I couldn’t discuss it with anyone. I wasn’t the kind of person to talk easily to others about what I was going through. That wasn’t normal back then. I found it very difficult. Then I came to the Netherlands and I got to hear the same story all over again. That ‘Weird, you people coming here’ response.”
I: “You never really belonged?”
A: “Exactly. I had that feeling for a very long time. I still have it now. But now I think: let them talk. Whatever. I just go my own way. I’ve already proved myself.”